Editing Revisions

First Screening Feedback

As a first draft was developed to showcase only a minute into the film, the feedback I received from my peers was very beneficial to the way I saw my film from an outside perspective.

Some comments I received were to:

• Add a time and date to the home video in order to signify it further as a video being played.
• Reverse the scene to make it look as though it had been rewinded or 'glitched.'
• Add a pause 'button' on the frozen ending of scene 1 to indicate the video was paused on Abby's face, developing the nostalgic craving Pam is experiencing by holding onto clips of her late friend and clarifying the use of a computer in the following scene.
• Possible music playing distantly.

Application of Feedback

The first attempt at adding all of their suggestions in addition to some of my own revisions and reasoning,

1. I decided to add a title in scene 1 with white, bolded and slightly spaced out letters to make up for the title's short screen time. The insertion of the title being in the home video correlates with the meaning behind the title we intended; 'Intertwined' representing the close-knit connection the girl's share in which Pam eventually inhibits her friend's addiction issues that would be seen in the film had it went on. 
   
   
2. Applying the suggestion from my peers, I used Inshot to create a date and time stamp on scene 1 without changing the quality of the film itself. It allows for the home video vibe we were trying to come across stronger with the stereotyped look of a VHS camera. 
   
   
3. I trimmed the first scene to end when Abby looks into the camera to increase tension of the moment and used CapCut's frozen feature to hold on the expression to assimilate pausing of the video, as well as brightened the lighting using their color grading preset templates so her face is more visible.
   
   
4. Added a pause button in which I overlayed and added a pop up transition for it to look more natural using PicsArt's animation feature. This also smoothed the harsh graphic relation transition that scene 1 and 2 had in between camera quality and lighting considerations.

A revised version of the same sequence that may indeed be included in the final cut.

When watching this back, my film partner and I realized that the seconds in the top right corner continue to count up even during the 'frozen'/'paused' scene. This was a small detail, but a large distractor in a scene where nothing is supposed to be in movement. To resolve the issue, I used CapCut's freeze feature over the first attempt and the time stamp paused as well.

Adding Improvements Experience 

The reversing of the scene and added music suggestions were not applied to my revised version because I felt as though the pause on her face created personalization with Abby's character — as though audiences are watching a clip of her themselves. The diegetic, quiet sound of the camera zoom ins and that is all, helps audiences focus on the dialogue and what is on screen. Moreover, knowing that keeping this scene more on the silent side was the original sound design vision, I noted the request for music to add in other scenes outside the film's first. 

Altogether, the suggestions applied made the scene look a lot better and sparked my creativity in adding other things I did not consider before. Trimming this long take changed it for the better as it gave me another take to add in as a flashback later in the opening effectively and increased continuity editing effectiveness for the following scenes. It also took away the harsh discontinuous transition between this scene and the one to follow of Pam on her bed because it is trimmed to where the most light is on her face and paused there.